I had such an intensely emotional weekend, something that has been happening rather often lately. The plan was to have an adult weekend comprised solely of boring self-care. You know; dinner for one made with ALL the love in the world, my favorite alcoholic beverage, movies with my feet up… the works. Did I succeed? Well, only for half a minute. And then fomo took over and I found myself fully dressed with my face beat and ready for an adventure. I used to be the most FOMO-free person on the planet. I have no idea when or how that changed…lol.
Anyway, as much as I fell off the wagon on that one day, I had every intention of carrying on with my self care plan the rest of the weekend. And I did. I spent Saturday by the pool -sunbathing and dipping interchangeably. It’s amazing how much a little vitamin D can do for your mood! Throw some cocktails and a book in there and you have yourself a full blown party for one.
Solitude can be difficult if/when you are an escapist. Your instinct says, “Keep going!” “Don’t stop the music!” “Run! Run! Run!” But at some point, all that stuff you keep out by following your instincts starts to leak from places that make them hard to ignore. Your eyes, for example, in the form of tears; your mood; hell even your body in form of random aches and ailments if you let it go so far. Pain sucks. Especially since there’s no quick permanent remedy for it. But you know what? There’s no short cut to recovery. And at some point or other, we’re all forced to deal with the pain that’s trapped inside of us. And it can get really really ugly.
So sit down with your emotions every now and again. Acknowledge them; Try to understand them. And then find a way to release them. It’ll do you a whole world of good.
There are two kinds of people in the world; the ones who wake up on the bright side of life every morning -you know, singing songs, opening curtains and gliding through their morning routine, and then there’s the rest of us. We have no morning routine. We wake up involuntarily; probably in a hurry, probably not having time to get anything done meaning we never have breakfast or get fancied up in the morning because there just isn’t time.
You’ve probably guessed by now that we are not morning people. Not unless morning is sometime after 1 O’Clock when we’ve had something to eat and there’s enough sunshine outside to borrow energy from. Just me?
Every single day as I rush through my mornings, I wonder what it would feel like to exist as one of the others. Where do they find the time to style their hair and wear makeup and stuff? Where do they find the time to eat and actually smile in the morning? It must be nice.
My resolution every morning as I drive past these happy faces (unlike my own) is to try and be like them starting the next day. I know that means going to bed earlier, preparing the day before and all that. But the thing is, my evening routine I.e that book I need to finish, that topic I need to read up on, all those emails I need to send, that episode I need to watch while drinking that glass of wine I’ve been looking forward to all day, that article I need to write and that conversation I need to have -all after that meal I have to cook and actually eat, not mentioning the showering et al routine just won’t let me. On most nights, I black out in the middle of one or more of these activities. And yet I have to do them to stay sane.
I need to find a way to do both! I want to be those people that sing and dance through their mornings and actually open their curtains and sit down to have their breakfast.
This is number one on my nonexistent list of resolutions for 2016.
Are you a morning person? I’d really like to know how you do it.
I’m done pretending I’m okay, and happy; that I don’t soak my pillow with the salty water that flows from my eyes on most nights. I’m not okay and that’s fine because I will be…and soon, if I face up to the things that make me cry. So this post is about acceptance -admitting that something isn’t right and dealing with it. This is me saying I need a hug, a nice word because on most days, I’m not having a nice day at all. This is about finding the cause of these tears and dealing with it… It’s about rising above the hurt and pain and confusion and coming out of it a wiser, stronger person. This about letting go….of the shame; the fear of people seeing your tears -knowing you’re a human being just like them. This is about courage, and supporting yourself even when it seems no one will be there for you…