Life… I think I’ve learnt more in the few years since twenty than I learnt in my entire life combined. Growing up will do that to you. Nothing is ever as it seems. Decisions stop being black and white, yes or no, like or dislike… And you look back to the days when either/or counted as a predicament with amusement. O what a joke!! If only adult decisions were half as easy.
In the last month, I’ve experienced the most confusing emotions known to my twenty-something year old self thus far. You could call it an existential crisis  of sorts. Life as I have known it for the last decade plus ended and will never be the same again. And I’m still not sure how to proceed. I know a lot of people would go in with the “exploring new possibilities” speech at this point, and normally I’d be one of those “look on the bright side” speech givers, but I know now, from experience, that it isn’t always that easy.

So my roommate/classmate/deskmate/workmates/partner-in-crime/sister of twenty-something years went and got herself married. It’s amazing that she found her soulmate considering how rare that kind of thing is in this day and age… I was the happiest person at her wedding, one could easily have mistaken me for the bride. But nothing could have prepared me for all these confusing emotions I’ve experienced since then. The abandonment, the loneliness….etc. It’s amazing how much we take for granted when it’s right in front of us. I’ve always had a plus one. I’ve never had to try hard to make or keep friends because I always had a friend nearby; an automatic plus one. And now she’s gone and never coming back and I’m feeling all these confusing things and I’m not even sure if it’s normal. I can’t imagine anyone being okay with becoming next to irrelevant in the life of someone who has always put you first.

How did you deal when your sister/best friend/brother/roommate got married?

Is it normal to feel lost and lonely and confused about the permanence of the arrangement?

2 thoughts on “Crossroads…

  1. Change is a condument of life. Today’s events are different from yesterday’s, different from last month’s. And surely the next couple of months will have many more life changing events. These events leave us with loads of different emotions ranging from surprise to loneliness to awe to confusion to envy, grief and many more.
    Without emotions life would be boring. Life would be plain. Easily predictable! As we battle our own emotions, we sometimes need someone to stand by us, someone to tell us that things will okay, someone to face in the same direction as us and see what we see, feel what we feel or at least empathise. That way, we get the courage to face the future, the unknown and the seemingly scary.

  2. I believe it is normal to feel lost and lonely… But you must remember that it was their time and yours is still to come. Of course it may be hard to do so, this is where confidence and strength comes in. If you live your life knowing great things are coming and experience day by day all the beauty that life has to offer then you will be in such a place of bliss when these good things come to you that you would have forgotten that you were even looking for them. At least that’s the way my optimistic self likes to look at it 🙂 good luck!

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