I’m sitting in the couch watching my little sister do her homework and I can’t help feeling a little nostalgia for a time when life was so uncomplicated; so simple. It’s hard to imagine that anyone can be so clueless about life’s pressures and the difficult decisions adult life presents you with from time to time. I’m almost jealous, to be honest. What I would give to have no worries, no concerns, no difficult decisions.
My friend Matt referred to this period in my life as an existential crisis. I haven’t a clue where to go from here. I don’t know which way to turn. One way is easy and straightforward but not my first choice. To take that road is to settle, so to speak… The other way is much harder… It’s complicated and uncertain. It’s paved with so much emotional turmoil and anxiety…yet so much joy and happiness all at once. I want to go with the latter, but there are road blocks everywhere I turn.
And my minds wanders back to this innocent ten year old; completely oblivious to the woes of the person who’s right infront of her. We’re sharing jokes as we have our supper… And all I want to do is crawl into my bed.
When I was her age, being my age seemed like the dream. I couldn’t believe that a time would come when I could make my own decisions. What I didn’t know, was that with great privilege comes great, great responsibility.
Yet here I am envying a 10year old that’s struggling with her homework.
Life can be quite strange!