I followed the yellow brick road.

I want you to be the villain in my story. It’s easier to just be the person who is hurt and broken and screwed up. It’s a perfectly valid excuse for everything… Like why I just won’t connect with anyone at all and why I’m always running as fast as I can from anyone who tries to figure me out or even minutely starts to understand me. I like having an excuse. But my excuse is no longer valid. Sure, you made many mistakes… But so did I. And now we have to go on with our lives. That means quitting the blame game and for goodness sake not being so angry at everyone for not being there when it was me who wouldn’t let them… mostly at you for creating a situation where I’ve  had to deal with things I thought I was over. I really want you to be the villain in my story. I want you to take all the blame so that I don’t have to admit that there’s still a tiny little part of me…like 99.9% that yearns for your adoration. And you being the villain makes that 99.9% absolutely ridiculous. So I sleep at night. But the truth sets free. And this is my truth.

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