I hate goodbyes. I suck at them. I hate that the ones we love aren’t always where we want them to be, right by our side. I hate that sometimes they have to go. Or we have to go. I hate that time and unforeseen occurrences sometimes get in the way and we have to live with the outcome. I’m sad and a little bit frustrated. I can’t stand things that are out of our control. Like time and fate and distance.
Goodbye is such a sad word. And it’s just hit me that in a few weeks, I’m going to say what I’ll probably always remember as the saddest goodbye. I wish time could stand still for just one year so that I don’t have to say that goodbye. That word changes everything. I’m convinced someone somewhere sat down and planned to ruin my life one goodbye at a time. I hate that person, whoever they are.
Why do people always leave? Why can’t we all just stay together and be happy? Who invented airplanes and travelling and further studies and “greener pastures” and all of the things that people go far away in pursuit of?
Never mind that I sound like a spoilt brat right about now… its finally hit me that goodbye isn’t going to be as easy as I’ve convinced myself it will be. The rehearsal part has sucked majorly so I can only imagine how bad the real thing will be. Even worse is the total blackness following the word. We’ll each wander into the world without each other and try to go on with life pretending we never really cared and it was just for fun. And if fate really has our back, we’ll meet again someday. But with my kind of luck, that’s HIGHLY unlikely.
So when that day finally comes, I’ll tearfully sing “goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend, you have been the one… you have been the one for me.” *sniffles*